Tuesday, 27 November 2012

holiday

Posted by icy at 16:51 0 comments
say 'HI' to my blog~
wow~long time no updates my blog
actually i wanna update because very lazy and busy so always delay
that memories is quite deep so i wont forget it
i like it so much,seriously!

that week is deepavali so i got a week holiday
before holiday i always gave myself a target
this holiday i want it to be assignment day
this holiday is my ordinary holiday
no date with him,no meet with him,no call with him
just do my assignment,concentrate on assignment! 

9/11-the first day back hometown
i can very sure no one know i am back except my bao bei
that day no one date me so i want sleep early but at the moment darling call me
(darling is a guy that i love so much and in front my bao bei i just call him darling because i don't wanna many people know who is him)
i got shock!!!
i kept think no one know me is back why darling know?
is me think over?
or is just coincidence?

OMG!
i really don't know!
finally i answer it
when i want answer darling hang it
gosh~!!!
after that he send me a message and write 'nothing la~'
at the moment i was like 'WHAT THE HELL'
i awake and you said nothing!damn you!
i kept consider whether i want call darling back!?

OK~ fine!
call darling
and darling said wanna called me had a tea and chit-chat with me but not sure whether i am here
and i go eventually
Omg~broke target again!
this night quite a good night with him
long time no see and we have many topic to talk

11/11-had steamboat with darling
today is sunday and i am rushing my assignment
this night is raining day and darling said he want steamboat but no one accompany him
so i accompany darling go because i really want see him

14/11-quite a sad day
this day i called my ji mui had a movie with me but she not free
so i call darling but darling want me ask my ji mui want go together or not
i said she is not free and darling want me ask again
at that moment i hate him so much!!!
why you don't believe me what i am said after that i have no mood and cancel the date

16/11-met with darling at the noon
this day i wake up early and goes to library to do my stupid law assignment
i have no idea how to do well,seriously!
so go to library and borrow some book that can help my assignment
i kept find the book but can't found it!damn!!!
what library is this all is malay!
ok~fine!
can i know why your wifi can't online!so cheap!
gosh~!
PEK CEK!PEK CEK!
after that i find darling have a lunch and go to his shop continue my assignment

when i want leave library i saw the book that i want at the trolly
damn you!
i want rushed to met my darling
how?
borrow?
finally i borrow it and darling kept calling me and said that he very hungry
omg~traffic jam!
finally REACHED!

have a lunch with darling
have a walk with darling
chit-chat with darling
but i have no start my assignment
T_T
when i can done my assignment!
i can't stop chit-chat with darling

at the night darling date me 
he said very apologize for his reneged
reneged?secret of us ^^
it sound like very sweet because this is first time darling admit his fault
this night darling very cute
he waiting outside and hide behind the wall
darling was very cute
on the way to yam cha darling kept talking to me
and i can't felt darling got something want to talk to me
but i'm not sure

17/11-belated gift
this day darling very tired because he working till 10++pm
and he haven't took dinner so i find him and ji mui have a dinner
omg~
darling drunk and me tooo
capacity for liquor of me is quiet poor so darling fetch me and ji mui back home
i remember what darling said and what darling do for me when i'm drunk
that quiet sweet,quiet warm
we are reached darling house and i gave him the gift and darling kept said want gave me back the money
i like that moment when we was drunk
i wanna hug darling tight but i'm not dare

darling,i really wish you will say 'you love me'!






 










 









Sunday, 21 October 2012

明天

Posted by icy at 00:47 0 comments
10月13日
原来还没结束

这一天的早上
我收到了他的信息
第一感觉
又喜又悲
喜---他第一次这么早找我
悲---不知该不该回,不知还要不要坚持

很好的
第一时间把电话交给宝贝
宝贝把我的电话收得紧紧的
叫我去做别的事,不要再想他
不让我碰电话,不回复他
 
不久
我就去厨房准备午餐
宝贝走了过来
帮帮忙,谈谈天

不久,宝贝问我 :
‘如果他打来你会不会接’
那时,我大大声得告诉宝贝:
‘他不可能打来的啦’
宝贝又说:
‘我是说如果’
我说:
‘我想接’
宝贝说:
‘就知道’

吃完午饭
宝贝回房拿东西
发现到我电话在闪灯
打开一看
被宝贝说中了,他打来了
再次得,又喜又悲

天啊,怎么这样对我!
刚要对他冷淡,怎么来了他的信息与电话
到底要怎么办!?

晚上了
宝贝的男友约了宝贝
家里只剩我一个人
宝贝把电话交回给我

傻傻的我
冲了凉,犹豫了
最后,打了给他
没想到换来的只有他的
刺痛,冷淡的回应

难道这是我要的吗?
我有自虐症吗?
这时的我
真的不知道如何面对自己
一个人的我要怎么办

我真的真的很想大哭
但哭不出来
怎么办?
到底怎么了?
谁可以救救我!
谁可以帮帮我!
:"((

我不敢告诉宝贝
因为我知道她不想看到我这么难受
她会骂我
她会不喜欢
我又再次得违背诺言

最后
我忍不住把心中的难过告诉了宝贝
就这样,我们吵架了
我们既然为了他吵了起来
这时我真的哭了

宝贝骂得我很对
为什么
 总是如此
总是坚持不到

你为什么可以让我如此难受
如此难过
我为什么就不可以让你有相同感受
为什么?
为什么?
:"(



Tuesday, 16 October 2012

这天

Posted by icy at 01:54 0 comments
12/10
这天是他的生日
我的宝贝帮我把这天的行程排的满满的只因为不让我想起他
这天我过得很充实也很精彩

第一站
the curve - kim gary
这是我们的早餐
还蛮好吃的
真是早餐吃得像皇帝

第二站
one utama
宝贝带我买鞋去
看了这么久终于买到了
我超喜欢的
#converse #classic #army green
超赞的

第三站
one utama - 许留山
这算是甜品屋
tadaaa
就是这   超级赞
不会很甜   全是水果

第四站
打羽毛球  是时候出汗咯
由于人太多所以没什么打
也没什么流汗

第五站
sunway giza-福建面
简单的晚餐
这里的福建面
超赞超出名蛮多人的

这一天就这样结束了
依然还有想念他的心情
今年的我不做第一个祝福他的人
不做最后一个祝福他的人
只因为不让自己对他念念不忘




Tuesday, 11 September 2012

time flies

Posted by icy at 01:09 0 comments
一转眼就过了四个月,时间真的是不等人,说过就过。我的假期呢?也就这样结束了。现在说到要开学啊,我的开学mood都还没回来,感觉上都脱节了。最可怜的是我的英文平时都不是很好了,现在几个月没什么接触英文,英文也变得越来越烂了!真的很怕跟不上进度!!!再怨也于事无补,就顺其自然吧。

在这四个月里在我身边真的发生了很多事!有开心的,有伤心的,有难过的,有兴奋的,通统都有啦!这就是人生嘛,喜怒哀乐,酸甜苦辣,样样齐全。很精彩吧!其实,还好啦!因为有两个月在工作都没时间出,因为太累了;没工作的时候都呆在家做宅女,不是我不想出门而是找不到朋友,不然就很懒约朋友。这都是我个人问题啦,人缘不好就如此!

这一切一切的开心,不开心都有关系到家人,朋友,亲戚还有他。很明显的他占了最大的那一份!前阵子就烦开学没地方住,课程还没报名,借钱手续还没办妥。但是到最后,总算找到了,解决了,至于借钱嘛明天就去处理。其实,今天就已经开学了,因为种种问题弄到我没去,所以这星期也就没去上课了。本来还以为下星期开学没想到收错消息,这也是其中一个原因。算了吧!这一切都会过去的,都会变得顺利的。

要开学的我做好了心理准备向难题冲去!最近,我也想了很多很多东西。知道自己要开学了,心里就很想约他吃吃饭,看看戏。那天真的不知哪个筋出了问题,还真是信息他了。他也很快的就回复了,后来还是不成,就这样我一整天的心情变差了!真是自己拿来衰!!!告诉自己算了吧,晚上就和妈吃饭去。吃完饭,回家时我看到了他的车,那时我的心情就更糟糕了!还乱踩油门,停都不会停,我妈真的被我吓着了。对不起啦,我不是故意的!

那天晚上看到他车泊在酒吧外不知是不是去喝酒了。回到家第一件事就是上网看看他的所在处,但是他还没check-in,没关系等多一下下就好。没想到一等就等了几小时,算了吧不等了,没想到这样就凌晨三点多了。第二天早上,我很早就起身了,就只因为要知道他昨天去了哪?看到的就只有他写着他喝醉了,真不知道什么事让他醉了!就这样我的心揪了一整天。

昨天的他好像前天的我。他啊,晚餐就去吃Azuma,过后就去gong cha,最后还在家看戏!完完全全和我的行程一模一样,我在想是不是共同默契呢?还是偶然?算了吧!多数都是偶然的啦,我们之间还哪会还有默契啊!就这样整晚在床上转折,翻滚。可怜!!又是自己想多了!

今天刚好去Amway买我的日用品,后来就去了隔壁买了gong cha还打包给他!其实是我很想见到他,然后就借gong cha 见见他!拿到去他工作的地方给他,见到他,谈谈天我就很满足了。因为时间不够用,很快的我就离开了。真希望他会珍惜这杯gong cha。

我想见他是因为我想把这次的见面变成长时间的不见面。我打算以后尽量不回来那么多,那么就不会想见他,不会想约他,慢慢得对他的感觉就会消失。希望如此吧。 





 

Tuesday, 21 August 2012

the second letter for you

Posted by icy at 23:30 0 comments
你好,又是我!你最近还好吗?我想你过得还不错吧。我啊,可糟糕了!我还是摆脱不了对你的想念!你应该觉得我很糟糕吧!忘记一个人都不会!有够笨了!

其实,我对你的想念是断断续续。有时,对你的想念很淡,在那时候我真的超开心的,因为你终于可以被我遗忘了!有时,对你的想念就很强烈了,在那时候我又在想,我是不是又在骗自己了,我根本就淡忘不了你!我真的连我自己也不知道到底想怎样!?一时,一时,心情不定!

我们那么久没见面了,那天见到你我真的傻了!我还一直装着没见到你,当时我真的装得很辛苦,真的很想快点离开!但最终在你朋友离开时,你没离开,还搭坐在我的旁边。在那个时候,我只有一脸的尴尬。算了吧!我想你坐下来的原因是因为我的朋友吧,因为你们最近都很常联络对方。

想回去,那天的我真的显得特别奇怪,特别冷静。你坐下来的那一刻,我真的没有心跳加速,没有手心流汗。就超冷静就对了! 很异常吧,我也觉得!那时候,我又在想是不是我正式把你放下了呢?不知道,也许吧。

终于,你一坐下,你们的谈话就开始了。你们的话题里,我真的没有任何的意见,也没有任何的交谈空间。因为你们谈的都是你们看戏时候所发生的状况,人和事!不然就是谈你面子书的一个super stalker,一个叫绿绿的女生。那时候,我在我朋友身上看到以前的我!就一直拿你身边时常出现的女生来谈,目的就是要知道你们的关系。而我就在一旁一直在僵笑着,笑得我的脸还有点硬了!

你们谈完了那些事之后,就谈你最近po上去的照片!照片里有你,有酒和酒杯,内容写着‘让自己不想你的方式’。在这之前我看到了,我的心真的疼了一疼,为什么那个女生就可以让你那么得想念。她到底是谁?你们的话题谈到这里时,我真的专心了一点,但最终你没说出是谁,你还兜了一个圈绕了出去!

夜有点深了,我们也是时候回家了。付钱后,我很快就闪人了,但我的朋友却放慢脚步就是为了要和你说一句‘再见’。当时的我真的傻了,呆了,以前的她都不会做这种事。那时,在朋友身上我又看到了以往的我了。真想不通你的魅力又在哪了?

自那天以后,我对你的想念又增加了。很快的我很想再见到你,第二天就约了你看戏但就是发生了一些事变得不成功!第三天到你约我看戏了,又因为一些事而不成功!不!应该是说你要约的不是我而是我的朋友,我只是一个陪客!虽然我们没有看戏但我们总算有出一会。我想你要出也应该又是为了我朋友吧,她说不要看戏要陪姐姐去喝茶,你也真的不去看戏了还去陪她们。我想你要我去也只是一个掩饰吧,不知道!也许我猜的是对的!

想回去那天,我们的相处方式变了很多!以前的我们,两个在车上的我们,我都感觉到很强烈的暧昧,心跳一直加速的我,手心一直冒汗的我,一个很难自我冷静的我!那天,我感觉到一个我从没在你身上拥有过的感觉,那就是冷静!以前在你身上真的不曾有的感觉!就连我们的话题都变了,变得有重点,变得有点严肃。我们的话题不再是废话了!根本就和以前不一样!

在那以后,我又在想,我们是不是变得比以前简单了?我们是不是摆脱了以往的暧昧,变得正常了,我们之间是不是不用存在那个尴尬了!当时我真的真的很开心,我们真的变了!我是不是真正的放下你了!在那一秒,那一分钟,那一天我真的以为!我还傻到在我的twitter一直写,'i think i can live without you!','we are normal now!thank god!','i like normal relation!',之类看似很开心但过了几天这都变成了我的笑话!原来,不管我们变得简单还是复杂,我还是一样的我,自我改变不了的我!

在那晚我梦见你了,梦了一会我就逼自己起身了!不是我不要梦见你,只是我不敢梦见你而已!我怕起身后,那些我们的回忆会一一出现在我脑海了!你我的回忆就是那么有魔力让我折腾一整天!所以我也很狠心的逼自己起身,不再入睡!

你知道吗?我昨天真的疯了!昨天,我看完医生就和妈妈去The Mines吃午餐,过后就去走走街,看看有什么买。我啊,看到了一双鞋,一个很简单的人字拖。只是那个比我之前买的有点厚而已,就我看到两双不一样的高度!然后就不知道要选那一双,结果我选了较矮的!因为我怕会和你平高,我怕会高过你!

ME GUSTA









Sunday, 19 August 2012

LOSER

Posted by icy at 01:12 0 comments
today i did a stupid thing again!
i date him!
why?
because i miss him again?
because i want to meet him?
yup!
i can't ignored him!

i say i want forget him,ignored him at one time!
i can say it!
but i can't do it!

i am LOSER!
A BIG LOSER!!!!

why you always give me a hope and break it!
why you always did this for me?
i am your toy,isn't?
a toy never ever leave you!?

NO!
i date both of them!
but 
both of them fool me at the eventually!

OR
both of them no wrong!
is my fault!
i shouldn't date them then i won't get any hurt!

ALL IS MY FAULT!!!





Friday, 17 August 2012

车祸

Posted by icy at 13:54 0 comments
昨天我亲眼目睹了一场车祸。那场车祸虽然有点模糊,但是真的让我很害怕!亲眼目睹一场车祸真的会让你很深刻很难忘!

朋友介绍我一个蛮有名的骨科医生让我尝试去治疗,看是否对我的问题有帮助。于是,朋友帮我做了预约并且还带我去。真的很谢谢她。她和她的妈妈真的很好人又帮我做预约又带我去还跟我解释师傅来了要怎样,不要怕!

昨天,我大约6:15am起身,冲个凉,搽个防晒就7:15am。过后就和妈妈去吃早餐,大约7:55am,我们就上南北大道,前往我们的目的地。刚上南北大道时,真的很怕前方会塞车会迟到!那时我的车速维持在100km/h,后来妈妈问The Mines 是不是绿野仙踪?我说,是啊!怎么了?妈说,怎么不早说!这里去那很快而已不用这么早啦!我真的呆了一呆,然后就把车速降到80km/h。

大约过了20公里,突然下起了一场超大的雨,前方真的很模糊,只见白白的一片,真的很难走!于是,我把车速再降到60km/h-80km/h之间。突然前方一辆大型卡车,载着汽油的卡车,从第三条线走到第二条线,就是我的前方。在那时候我踏了刹车,好让车停下不向前撞!后方传来很大声的鸣笛声,看着照后镜反映状况的我,被吓到了!!!虽然有点模糊,但我非常的清晰感受到那个撞击!


我和我后方的车没被撞到,接下去的车就撞成一团!我看到有两辆撞到还满严重的。一辆车撞上了他前方的一辆车,车的车头起了!另一辆则反复到别个车道!看到那一幕,我的心真的跳到超快的!就连我的手还在斗着!

我在想如果那两辆撞的满严重的是我,那会怎样? 是不是这样就了决了我的生命?我的生命断在这里是否就是我想要的!生命虽然是一个很精彩的东西,很奇妙的东西,很独一无二的东西;但在这里面也藏着一丝丝的痛苦,一丝丝的孤独,一丝丝的不开心。

每一个人都说,要珍惜生命,他会让你活得很精彩。但如果你遇到了一个难关,如果闯不过去只会让自己痛苦一辈子,那要如何?还努力的活着吗?还是让自己到另一个世界,另一个空间生活?

不知道!不明了!因为不管我再怎么想离开这里,我都会很放不下妈妈!



 









Monday, 16 July 2012

想给你的一封信

Posted by icy at 14:44 0 comments
halo,你还记得我吗?我是那个认识你差不多六年的女生。那个一直喜欢着你的女生。那个一直在暗示你‘我喜欢你’的那个女生。那个一直在做无聊事情为了让你知道我的存在的女生。那个脸皮很薄却一直缠着你的女生。我们都有两个月没见面了,你应该忘记我了吧。

我们没见面的这两个月里,我想了很多事情,关于我们两人的事情。原来我们一直活在一个不明不白的关系里。说我们是朋友,但又不见得那么简单;说我们是恋人,但又说不上是;说我们是暧昧,也显得有点肤浅。我也不知道我们到底是什么?也许在我们的生活圈子里,我们什么都不是,只是一个不那么了解对方但比较熟悉的陌生人。

我常在想也许是因为你我也喜欢上晚上,感觉上晚上就是我们的空间。大概是我们大多见面的时间都是在晚上吧,想回去我们早上真的没见过面。有点荒唐的说。不知道我们会不会有机会在早上见面呢?

有时我在想是不是如我姐妹说,我对你太好而让你觉得我不重要?我不能确认你对我的感觉,但我能确定我对你的感觉。我喜欢你也许是因为我所谓的第一次吧,可能你会觉得没什么。

你是第一个我很喜欢的男生,我对你也说得上爱吧。第一个不管见几多次面都会很紧张的男生。第一个时常暗示你‘我爱你’的男生。第一个时常和我出夜街的男生。第一个独自去男生家的男生。第一个拴着我的男生。第一个抱我的男生。第一个独自上男生车的男生。第一个牵我手的男生。第一个十指紧扣的男生。第一个独自和男生一起看戏的男生。也是第一个吻我的男生。

你知道吗。第一次和你一起看戏我真的真的很紧张,我真的不知道要怎么打扮自己,不知道要怎么把自己的紧张情绪沉淀下来。真的超紧张的。跟没想到的是我们第一次看戏就坐 couple seat。真的好开心。还记得跟你看戏的戏票我还藏的很好,保存得很好。其实我到现在还不知道那戏到底在做什么,但就是很开心。也许是因为那时我在考试期特别紧张刚好你也带我出去放松吧。也许是不关事而是人的关系吧。那是我们第一次看戏,也许也是我们的最后一次了。

你知道吗。你最吸引我的地方是你的眼睛,虽然你的眼睛不是很大但就是很吸引我。还记得有一次你载我的时候,我在旁边默默地看着你,那个感觉真的很舒服,结果被你发现了。你说,‘你可以不要用那强奸的眼神看我吗?’你这句话真的把我笑惨了。:D

你知道吗。我每一年的生日都好想要一份你送我的礼物,而不止是一个祝福。我想要的礼物不贵,那个礼物也不难送,但对我却觉得很特别。我只想要你一个紧紧的拥抱。有好几次我都想告诉你但就是不敢。

我想告诉你其实我们一开始认识我就对你很有感觉了只是最近不知道怎么你已经变了我生活里的一小部分了。刚认识的我们只用电话联络,那时候其实很想跟你开始,只是我想得太多所以都一直没给你什么回应。后来的我们就变陌生人了,变得很少联络,甚至我们有一年多没联络了。但几年前我们又走的满密的,我们这忽冷忽热关系真的不知道可以持续多久?

跟你在一起真的很开心,真的很幸福,真的让我很想停在那一刻。真的真的很谢谢的给我的这一切,这一切一切真的让我很难忘。既然是那么的难忘,我也不逼自己忘记了,把它变成一个美丽的回忆也许对我会比较好吧。





















Sunday, 1 July 2012

you again

Posted by icy at 00:27 0 comments
Yesterday after i back home and wanna take a nap, but can't asleep so i read back our conversation.When i read back, i feel very relax everything that unhappy i forget at the moment. Our conversation kinda sweet, kinda warm and kinda funny.

When you sms me you always call me dear, babe or lovely. I like you call me by this name, it make me feel sweet, warm and happiness. But when we go out we just call each other 'ei'. Yup!!!just 'ei'... no dear, no babe, no lovely even name also no.  FUNNY, RIGHT?

When i read to the top, i discover a part of message is lost. WTH...!!! WHY? emo again.. maybe is the memory full so lost a part. i try to save all the conversation with him in my laptop but i don't know how to move..stupid idiot!!! so what i can do is just delete the conversation that not important to me.

I just can say i am an idiot. Carelessly i delete the conversation with him...how sad :'( maybe this is the first step to forget him. Why phone don't like laptop!!! Got recycle bin can install back the thing that wrong delete.

Today is 30th of June the last day of June, another 30 minutes is 1st of July the first day of July. I miss you again. I wanna spend with you, it meaningful. Just by my own feeling.

I wanna date you movie together tonight. Not i'm no dare to date you is because i don't like your reply. Everytime when i date you, you always ask who else. Why you want ask who else!!! just you and me can't, isn't! DAMN YOU!   


Sunday, 17 June 2012

CHANGE

Posted by icy at 15:56 0 comments

YUP…Finally I got a job and got a pack timetable. It really packs for me 8:00am till 5:00pm and lunch for 1hour, a week working 5day and half. I must wake up at 6:30am and have a shower, foundation, sunblock, and also my breakfast. Emm…I think my breakfast healthier than previous, milo kosong+2 eggs+bread. But my constipation still unchanged…damn it!!!

Now my life style healthier than previously, sleep before 11:00pm and wake up around 6:30am. Although hard to sleep early and wake up early, but I must adapt as fast as I can because it good for me and I must do it…!!! 

I like the air in the morning, it fresh. 
I like the sunset in the morning, it warm. 
I like nature…:)
     
The place I working is sell car spare part and at industry area so I no need waste money for a parking…^^ my outfit is no short pant and no slipper. it doesn't suit for me because very hot and a bit formal than usual. my task is check statement, check invoice, check cash sale for the previous year, sometime they will give me some statement to calculate. The entire task is about accounting, but I every time mistaken…!!! OMG!!! Are you learning accounting before? Why always mistaken, I blame on myself...:(
  
I thought I got a pack timetable I won’t miss him, think about him and I can forget everything that unhappy with him…!!! But it doesn’t work!!! Really doesn’t work!!! I miss him. I wanna see him. Yup… I admit it!!! He gave me many happiness. Yup...he did!! But at the same time, he also gave me many bruise. 

That day I was having lunch at the place near his working place. When I leave I see him at the opposite street, but I don’t know why my heartbeat fast like heart attract and my hand sweat also…WHY? WHY? WHY? I can’t clam down…!!! I run back to my car and try to calm down…!!! 

We met again…no!!! is I met him again, when back home at the traffic light his car beside me but I can’t saw him because his tinted glass is very dark and he use another way back home. Maybe he is keep away from me. It very hurt...!!!

My lifestyle change. My outfit change. My breakfast change. 
Everything is change but only him in my heart is unchange...

Saturday, 9 June 2012

星期六

Posted by icy at 21:43 0 comments
爸爸不在的这段日子里
感觉有点无助
有点彷徨

今天家里发生了一场骂战
真的很严重
我想,
当时的情况除了我爸
再也没有第二个人可以控制了吧。

有爸爸在的日子
也许会比现在好吧。
无论
我哥,我弟吵架还是什么的
至少我爸可以控制着场面。

父亲节就要到了
想回去
以前
我们都没怎样庆祝父亲节
就连父亲节在几时都不知道
真的觉得自己没有尽做女儿的责任

算了吧
过去的事就让他过去吧
最重要是现在





Thursday, 31 May 2012

ill

Posted by icy at 02:25 0 comments
i illness almost one week. i hate to take medicine, because some medicine is quite bitter and some have a bad smell. medicine for me is like push me to the hell is very suffer! but this time very serious, and also is my first time. HEADACHE+FLU+ULCER+SORE THROAT+ MENSTRUAL=SUFFER

 yup...this medicine is my mom bought for me yesterday. this medicine is quite famous, and i like the smell it like herbal. no bitter, no bad smell.PASS :D

my mom keep on remind me, take this before sleep, it can help me sleep well. contrary, after i take this i whole night can't sleep. OMG,I'M INSOMNIA! 12:13AM i go to sleep but i don't feel any sleepy. i try to sleep, but also fail. i try to count sheep because when pronounce sheep is like sleep, so i try but i doesn't work!wow~i think i full of stamina can count sheep in the middle night, it is a quite lame hypnosis game.

i miss him badly in a sudden. i talking to myself, at the moment i was like idiot. why i keep on talking to myself? why i suddenly miss him? at the moment, i want his hug badly but can't! i can't meet him! i can't miss him! when meet him i will get hurt, maybe he will so better don't want meet.

sometime i always think. at one time,we ambiguous, hug, kiss but inside got love? i'm really confuse, do you love me once? no matter how, i want try to stop the complicated relationship.

CHEER GIRL, YOU CAN DO IT!
    TRUST YOURSELF!  

Saturday, 26 May 2012

一个人的电影

Posted by icy at 02:38 0 comments
今天我终于有勇气去完成我一直想要做的事了---一个人的电影。我想我这么做大概是想证明什么吧,不知道也许是也许不是。今天的我真的有点糟糕,就连一张戏票也会买错。我到底在想什么?没办法了,一定要找个朋友打发时间。我也很自然的找上了她,因为他的家最近戏院。

去她家的路途,我真的很犹豫不定,心里一直想,‘怎么办,真的要找她吗?’算了!既然已经告诉她了,去就是了,别想那么多。终于到了,不用犹豫了,就进去吧。大概是在家没事干吧。我们像以前一样骑着摩托到处绕,但我们的话题不再是对方的心事了而是讨论屋子的大小,豪华,居住的人。我想这是我的个人问题吧。

绕着,绕着,感觉到累了就回家。回到家,我们坐下来看戏。突然,她的电话响了,她让我知道是谁打给她。在那一瞬间,我真的真的有种说不出的刺痛。对!是那个‘他’拨电给她了,那个‘他’想约她去宵夜,她当时拒绝了。拒绝的原因大概是我在吧。但那个‘他’还不断的提出另一个时间,还问她为什么声音有点变了,为什么下午没接‘他’的电话。在一旁的我,只有一直假惺惺的装不在乎。

终于,他挂了电话。过后,我要求她开门给我,原因不是因为那个电话,而是我真的要去看戏了。希望她不要误会。上车后,我真的不知该怎么办,眼泪为什么不会流?是因为我不再乎了吗?还是因为我变得比以前坚强了?变得比以前不容易流泪了?到底我怎么了?

到了戏院,我在想到底是我倒霉还是幸运?我的戏刚好在四号房,F-11。这是我和你第一次看戏的房间和位子。今天在那个位子上以往的快乐,废话甚至体温都消失了,留下的只有回忆。每一个人的回忆有快乐与不快乐,但我可以清楚知道这位子对我的回忆是快乐的。

终于,一个人的电影结束了。MIB3的确是个不错的电影。但我倒霉的一天还没结束,去厕所途中我发现我鞋子的装饰掉了。心情不那么好的我也没心情找它了,只有狼狈的,匆匆忙忙的回到车上。

一个人的电影,让我更了解自己。原来,我是一个怕孤单的人,原来我是一个不那么勇敢的人,原来我是那么的懦弱。原来没有朋友的陪伴我会觉得那么的无助,那么的害怕。

Friday, 25 May 2012

YOU

Posted by icy at 02:05 0 comments
I've know you almost five year,but our relationship is complicated. Previously,you often call me and talk about your sadness and also happy matters. I'm glad be your listener. BUT, pardon me. I'm just treat you as my best friend because i am fall in love to a guy same school with me. I also don't know why i love that guy, maybe he handsome, clever or else at that time with my taste.

After i know you almost two year more i fall in love with you.But you in the relationship with a girl when you working at KL. That girl is older than you, maybe is your type at that time. In the originally, i don't know why you ain't call me, is your neighbor, my friend let me know you are in the relationship with a girl older than you. I would like OMG. Isn't the god kidding me? Why when i fall in love with you but you in the relationship. I really.....sigh~

I'll think it over, i fall in love with you yet? can i forget you easily? or i want let you know? The answer is NO...NO...NO!!! That's not his fault is yours!!! please don't blame on him...!!! All is the timing...the timing we know each other is wrong! the timing he love me is wrong! the timing i love him is wrong! ALL WRONG!!! GOD NO BLESS ME!!!

Sometime our relationship like friend, but sometime we like over friendship. Because you, i really suffer. Everyday think of you, the matters we happened, the sadness, happy and also........ Sometime i think isn't our relationship complicated is because our home very near? I can easily find a person accompany me? i can easily find a person be my driver? i can easily find a person help me? i don't know, maybe this is the reason to explain it...!!!    

This year we've many first time. I first time spent Christmas eve with you and my secondary school classmate. first time met my classmate. they said you are polite guy, although no join us but will say goodbye to them when leave. first time movie with you. first time having supper with you at MacDonald. you first time hug me. we first time interdigitate. i first time give you goodbye kiss. all this will be my sweet memory with you. i won't forget it. i try to forget once, but very hard so all this better be my sweet memory.

Seriously, i like the time spent with you. i like the place with you.i like the moment with you. i like the conversation with you. i like everything about you. i think you are the guy i will not forget forever, although we are incomprehension each other.

ME GUSTA


  

   

Monday, 14 May 2012

mother's day

Posted by icy at 00:39 0 comments
母亲节快乐。。。^^
祝天下的妈妈
身体健康,永远美丽
  
对妈妈说了母亲节快乐了吗?
快快对妈妈说吧
我也还没告诉她呢
可能这句话太客套了吧
不适合我们
:D

妈,
我已经长大了,
不用太担心我啦
我会好好照顾自己
我会把我这条路走好,走完
不会让你失望

虽然现在爸爸不在了
但是我们还是很爱你的啦
不用担心,不用担心
:)

你似乎对今天的晚餐不是很满意
对吧?
但没关系啦
下次不要吃那间就好啦
不要怨了啦

 tadaa
这就是我妈
有像吗?
:D
这是我这么大以来和她的第一张合照
因为我妈她不是很喜欢拍照
所以这就第一张咯

有时我们想姐妹
有时我妈像严母
但,现在我们都大了
她也比较像慈母啦

妈,你要
健健康康的
漂漂亮亮的

虽然时常吵架
尤其是你的二儿子
但,
我们会爱你一辈子的啦







Saturday, 12 May 2012

forget

Posted by icy at 21:12 0 comments
YUP
i like you, i miss you, i love you
your one call or one message, i can happy whole day
at the same time
your one reject, i also can emo whole day
because you i tears fall
because you i drunk

BUT NOW
because you i want call back myself
i want to be the previous me
the happy nebubune

because you i want change myself
i want be more pretty than now
i want be more fair than now
i want be more clever than now
 
because you i want be tough
i won't waste my tears anymore 
i won't drunk anymore

NOW
i no need your answer anymore
i think i know what answer you will give me

AND, I KNOW
i'm not a patient girl
i'm not a careful girl
i'm not a fine girl
i'm not a kind girl
i'm not a polite girl

i know i'm not your type
so i won't waiting your answer anymore
i'm not from love you to hate you
is because i know what is happened

if you love my best friend, i can accept it
but please treat her as good as you can
please don't try to hurt her

i also will try to forget you
forget the feel you give me
forget the happy you give me
 forget the happiness you give me
forget the sadness you give me
forget the bruise you give me
 
:'(
</3

Wednesday, 9 May 2012

foundation graduation

Posted by icy at 03:19 0 comments
YEAH...^^
finally my happy mood came back
haiz~my foundation graduation almost two week
but this two week many unlucky events around me
make me very suffer!!!
all sad is gone now i want be happy...^^

in my first year college life got four type of taste
that is sweet, sour, bitter and spicy
this all make me be more mature
and i also know what mean is
''don't always blame what you don't have, 
but please appreciate what you have now''
meaningful, right?

in my college life i've know a gang of friend
in the gang got 6 girl and 2 boys
ya...is they
but pity,jie jie back home jor... :(

this is our jie jie
see,her sexy face

flower?
ya...we try to be a flower
lol~

they are the 2 boys in our gang
actually they are 'gay'
no la...just a joke :D

this two is most clever in our gang
i want say thank you to both of them
thank you both of you teach me everything that i don't know
thank you very much

they are most fashion in our gang
one is our jie jie, and one is my babe sista
jie jie thank you always fetch us to having brunch 

she is my roommate also is my coursemate
she also is my babe sista classmate in primary school
so i know her
sometime we like good friend, but sometime we like enemy
very funny,right?

he is not our gang :D
he is april intake, but we are may intake
see he shorter than me, actually we are same height
LOL

 he also april intake, he is the best friend with the guy who is april intake :P
he very handsome, right?
ya...he is the guy i like once
see, between us got a small gap
why?maybe we are shy :D
***
i'm extremely grateful to her
because her i know this college
because her i know this gang of friend
because her i'm from black change to white
i mean my complexion
because her i'm become more pretty than before
because her i'm become more clever
i mean on language
because her i first time get surprise on my birthday
and the surprise not only one is twice
her birthday i try to give her surprise but fail
SORRY
so many because is can't use the word to express
thank you very very much

she is my classmate in secondary school
and also my course mate in college
and also my roommate in college life
and now she is my babe sista

ya...is you
 COEBE
the person who know me more
thank you very much <3
 















 

Tuesday, 8 May 2012

a nice day

Posted by icy at 02:48 0 comments
today such a nice day
happy come,emo gone...^^
although very tired, but very happy 

First time drive manual car to KL...Wow~quite nervous and excited...when drive at highway is very easy, but when at normal road got many car and traffic... OMG!!! is time to break...i hate the moment when BREAK, at the same time want engaged the clutch...!!! it very exhausting for my leg...

today is my first time when parking the car want START four time...OMG!!! driving skill fail...fail...fail..!!! and my sista keep laughing aside...very 'fish' lo...hahahaaaa~

actually we go to KL is to find college about the design...wow~that college she want to go is quite difficult to find and the parking also full, really no parking lo...we keep round and round and round, finally we get the parking...

ya...''dasien academy of art'', the college she want...the counselor there is damn good...you want Chinese,he can speak chinese; you want English,he can say english; you want Malay,he also can speak malay... very good,right? Haiz~pity on her Malay get fail, so must to resit is because the certificate... at the same time, she can study there and must to resit the malay and the result must pass before she end her diploma...is a quite good college... here,i want wish you 'ah mem' can pass your malay paper and be a popular designer...GAMBATEH

today i'm really really happy...^^ first time ice skating...it very excitement!!!
this is me...
see i'm like crayon sin chan,right?
ya...is because my eyebrows just touch up...

 my sista,who are same date of birth with me...
looking another side,she very shy ya...lol~

 our ticket...^^

PITY!!!
forget take photo with her
***
buy again~all about face and body...
ya...this is my conquest
all is came from DEAD SEA

this is sample
try..try..try..^^

today i really happy... never miss him, but when i update this blog i miss him again because at the middle night very quiet... :'(




  

  







Sunday, 6 May 2012

suffer

Posted by icy at 17:25 0 comments
I hate the moment when i wake up because when i wake up i will always try to sleep again but can't asleep...!!! I don't want!!! I don't want wake up!!!when i wake up i always think about you...think about that night...!!! I don't know why... You really make me suffer!!! Isn't the decision i make is wrong... Isn't i should not ask you???

I don't know...maybe that is wrong!!! At the beginning to the end you never understand me... I want ask you that question not because the few day we are together not because i love the moment when with you is because i already like you for a time!!! only you don't know about this...

you don't know i use almost one week to make the decision...you don't know i want rush back to KD is because you, i scare i will date you if i at seremban...you don't know i get drunk is because you, just a half pint i very hard...you don't know all about this...!!!

That night i really don't know how to ask you...why u don't take it serious when i want ask you... after i don't want ask why you keep on ask me the pointless question!!! When i said serious please don't take it is a joke...it very hurt!!!

Finally you know i am angry, you know i wanna cry but sorry i already no mood to ask you that question...you try to hold my hand,you try to hug me tight,you try to ask me isn't i want ask you,you love me or not? but at the same time i try to escape,i try to push you away from me...i'm very fatigue, seriously!!!

when you kiss me,i don't have any feeling...I don't know why...Who can tell me why...Maybe as my sista said,is because i already fed up so i can't felt my heartbeat violently...!!! ya...that is my first kiss...a kiss without any feeling... i push you not because i hate yours behave is because without any feeling...

finally, we calm down...you keep on say sorry, i just at aside...i don't know what response i can give you...when you get out from the car you just say give you some time...i don't know why...maybe this 'time' can give us to consideration isn't we are love each other...or maybe this 'time' can give me to consideration isn't you are the mr.right

Give me a answer,please!!! i'm very suffer!!! i get hurt better than i am waiting your answer... I am aries, when i get hurt i can use the shorter time to cure...no worries...i just want a answer...!!!

i will not forget this night 4/5/2012 
</3




 

Sunday, 29 April 2012

emo

Posted by icy at 10:55 0 comments
yesterday i was like from paradise fall into hell
WHAT THE HELL!!!
because you my happy mood suddenly change to emo mood
:'(

yesterday after i updated my blog
i go out and to buy the movie ticket
i'm very happy when i go out to buy the ticket
because my brother don't scold me when i go out
because my brother don't ask me why i go out

BUT
you suddenly send me a message
did you know?
because your message i emo whole day

you say,
''hey...tonight cancel to watching ah...sry oh~
 u happy too...cause no need to buy ticket ady~''
what mean is 'u happy too'!?

did you know?
i almost reach there...
did you know?
your one message,i almost accident..

did u know?
i try to make myself don't care
in the car i turn the radio to max
and first time drive 130++km/h
on the road not highway

but you don't know all about that!!!
you don't know you already hurt me...
please don't...
please don't hurt me...

i know you feel nothing 
but i already get hurt
:'((( 

Saturday, 28 April 2012

first time :)

Posted by icy at 14:25 0 comments
yesterday is my first night came back from KD
yeah..!!!
mummy,brother i very miss u all

BUT....
damn tired,seriously
i'm tired not because me drive
is because i'm waiting my friend's friend fetch me

when i am waiting,i'm very sleepy
when i want open my laptop to online
she call me and said almost reach
DAMN!!!
why you don't call me that previous two hour when i waiting you
arghhhh

OMG
really really sleepy and tired
when i reach seremban is almost 1:00A.M
quite late,isn't...

but never mind la
as good as have people fetch
no need today back
because i'm scare ''bersih''

when i reach seremban,i'm feel very hungry
so call him fetch me to yam cha
thank you,boss :D

when i go out with him i'm very nervous and happy
don't know why
maybe 
the way he treat me difference
the way he talk to me  difference
i feel only la...

yesterday we are first time interdigitate
but maintain 5 second only la
why???just for fun

yesterday is he first hug me
just a small hug
emmm...
i mean he hug me a few second only
because he say something to hurt me
so hug me to say sorry

yesterday is he first time pull me back into car
when i want back home

yesterday is me first time give a guy a good bye kiss
after i give the kiss,i rush back home
because i'm very nervous till very hot
at that moment my heartbeat like drive Ferrari 
very very very fast
   
when i back to home 
i rush to bathroom clam down
but it doesn't work
DAMN

i really love the way he treat me 
make me feel warm 
make me feel kinda happiness
thank you <3

 


Thursday, 26 April 2012

人生

Posted by icy at 00:10 0 comments
今天发生了一件超伤心的事
连我也接受不了
我想这就是人生吧

今天朋友和我们一起吃晚饭后
朋友的男朋友打给廷要她转告‘家人找不到她’
朋友看到电话有很多的来电显示后就立即打回家

没想到电话里的消息竟是让人难以接受的消息
朋友边听电话便哭
而且这个哭声让旁人感到很伤心
结束电话后

原来
朋友的爸爸去世了
我听到后眼泪也耐不住气  掉下来了

对不起
原来还是回到软弱

对不起朋友
我不但安慰不到你
还把你变得哭地更惨

对不起友室
我不但安慰不到她
还增加你们的麻烦
而且还弄到你们不知该如何

看见朋友哭
真的让人很心酸
真的让人很难过

看见朋友哭
我看到了以前的我
一个从没见过这样的我
一个无助的我
一个不知如何该好的我
一个哭得要生要死的我
一个不听劝告让眼泪流不停的我
一个哭得全身发抖的我
一个崩溃的自己

哭过了,抱过了,冷静了
是时候振作了
试着安慰朋友不哭
但自己的眼泪还是耐不住
一直在眼眶里徘回着

不久后它终于被我按住了
朋友也慢慢冷静下来了
在那一刻,突然变得很静

朋友拿出电脑看着爸爸的照片
边看,边哭,边说爸爸与他们的承诺
一直看着照片的她
一直摸着爸爸的样子的她

那一刻我们真的真的静下对她的
安慰,劝告
因为那一刻的心酸
让我们强烈的感受到了
 ‘‘在人生里,
    一个人,
    吃多少,穿多少,用多少,
    都是注定的。’’
一句简单的字
一个简单的安慰
但里面却包含着不简单的意思

朋友  无论
再怎样的伤心 ,再怎样的难过
你也要撑下去
记得要变得坚强一点

人生,
何谓人生?
人生就是要经过  
生,老,病,死
谈恋爱,结婚,生子
伤心与快乐
这才称得上真真的人生。

一个人结束了他的生命
就等于
它经历了很多东西,是时候休息了
他也对这个世界没有留恋了
也想去尝试下个人生

所以,
我们应该要往好的方面想
我们要为他开心
而不是为自己的伤心而一直流泪

我也知道
说是很容易,做却很难
但是人就是要向每个难关而挑战

加油吧。。。!!!
勇敢面对。。。












Sunday, 22 April 2012

最爱的他

Posted by icy at 02:23 0 comments
平静的客厅
温柔的音乐
躺在客厅的床上

我又突然想起你了
想哭的感觉又来了
但我脑海里一直想着廷的一句话
‘当你想起他的时候记得笑着想他,这样他才会开心’
终于眼泪被押回去了

还记得
跟你过了一段让我记忆深刻的日子
虽然有开心也有不开心
但我想这个记忆永远都删不去

你的开心
你的愤怒
你的慈祥
你偶尔温柔的声音
让我很想念

有你在的我
很喜欢你敲门小声地叫我起身
很喜欢你讲笑话的时候
很喜欢和你一起出外吃晚餐
很喜欢下午‘遛’ 出去的时候
还有种种说不出的喜欢

偶尔的吵架
让你我都不开心
请你原谅我当时的任性

现在的我在学习
变得不那么任性
变得干净
变得会下厨
变得聪明一点
希望你看到我的改变你回觉得欣慰

前几天梦见你了
还记得在梦里的我有一副很不在乎的样子
醒来后才发现很多话没说
大概那个梦要我做的角色就是不在乎吧
所以错过了跟你谈天的机会

在深处最深的记忆还是那一段
永远忘不了的那一段
还记得。。。

糟糕了
眼泪要涌出来了
伤心画面一直不断地出现

我发现原来我还没学会那句话
对不起
我又变弱了

传说
每当一个人去世后,
‘如果家人哭,那就代表去世的人在流血’

对不起,爸
我不是故意让你痛苦的
有时我真的很希望你可以告诉我
你的痛苦
因为我真的很想见到你

 神啊,
可以帮我传达一个信息吗???
告诉他,
我真的很想见到他

无论,
是见一面
还是说一句话
都好。。。

希望你收到
因为我有很多东西要告诉你

















Friday, 20 April 2012

cheer ;)

Posted by icy at 22:42 0 comments
i don't know why when you update your status always in emo mood
maybe you get into trouble in your life

maybe that trouble is because you friend
or because your job
or because your family

but no matter how serious your problem
please be TOUGH
i always belong you
CHEER ;)

maybe the message is work
today your status kinda happy

hope that happy is real...





Wednesday, 18 April 2012

EXAM *_*

Posted by icy at 00:41 0 comments
OOOMG!!!
exam is coming soon!!!
but now i'm just always refresh my twitter, my facebook...
no exam mood, no study mood at all...

nebubune you think who are you???
you think you are genius,isn't???

BUT,NOOO!!!
you are the NOOB one in the class!!!
you are the most STUPID one in the class!!!

oh no...!!!
can you call your study mood back!!!!
now you very very very very needed it...
if not your exam will die...!!!

your exam fail, you want to pay RM100 to resit each subject..
you want like this???
if you don't want
please,please,please....
calling back the mood!!!

OK
now go to sleep,
tomorrow wake up early, please...

good night everyone..^^




Tuesday, 17 April 2012

下雨天

Posted by icy at 07:10 0 comments
雨大,雷大,声也大。

再大的雨也冲不掉思念,
再大的雷也闪不掉回忆,
再大的声也响不了你我。

也许,
只有雨天才可以容得下我对你的想念;
也许,
只有雨天才是我们回忆最多的时候;
也许,
雨天是我们认识的第一场景。

所以,
对雨天有再多的不满,
也会因为这样而变成喜欢。

每当雨天,
我都很希望你能在同一个天空的某个地方想起我。

每当雨停了,
就像上天在给予警告,
警告我要变勇敢一点;
警告我要变坚强一点;
警告我要变得自爱一点。

但,这种种的警告在
下个雨天变成无;
下个雨停变成灰。

晴天了,
雨也停了,
彩虹也出来了。

是时候放下灰天的自己;
换来原本晴天的自我了。。。







Monday, 16 April 2012

心情分享

Posted by icy at 07:21 0 comments
这是我第一次写部落各
大家多多指教咯
哈哈哈

终于有个小天地发泄我的
喜:)
怒:(
哀:'(
乐:D
了啦。。。。

也许
是因为太多的事情不知如何表达
所以
就on了这个部落各吧。。。
希望这个部落各可以减低我的emo




 

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